Notes from the work.

To Dose or Not to Dose—The Potential Dark Side of Enhanced Enlightenment

I recently called a childhood friend who’s a mogul in Silicon Valley. He would never refer to himself as a mogul, and will undoubtedly laugh upon reading this, but I think we can agree that he’s not an employee; he’s the one creating the empires that employ the masses. He will laugh at “empires” too, but suffice it to say, he conceives the visions, while others grind out the production. He isn’t your typical tech leader, and I can tell you why: he is ultimately oriented to serving others. In the past few decades, there’s been a gradual spiritual shift in business that’s worth a brief detour to understand.

In my mind (I’m no theologian or philosopher), souls fall (very generally) into two categories: service to self, and service to others. These aren’t good or bad, they just naturally exist within a society of free will. Think of these groups like the anode and cathode of a battery (for those of you like me who barely survived physics, these are the parts on your battery with a “plus” and “minus” sign). Both charges are needed in balance for the battery to work. In balance is the key, and we can have an entire conversation about those two words. But we’re actually here to discuss something much more interesting: psychedelics.

As my friend patiently answered my entry-level business questions, he asked: “Are you going to get into microdosing? That’s the trend right now. Ketamine and psilocybin, mostly. I’m even thinking about trying it.” So I asked him my favorite question in the world: “Why? What do you think it might accomplish?” It was a fascinating conversation for me, as addiction psychiatry and addiction medicine were two of my board certifications when I was practicing. I know all about the studies on ketamine and psilocybin, and of course all the other trends. My patients themselves were a wonderful source of information and learning for me. As he explained, I was struck by how the end result of using these drugs is really the end result of the spiritual mentoring I offer. But obviously we’re talking about very different pacing. And most people like immediacy.

It doesn’t take much digging to know the trend isn’t new. Here’s what to consider if you’re one of these Tech Bros or Gals who are contemplating some form of experimentation.

First, its helpful to understand a little history. Long before Silicon Valley was a thing, San Francisco was the epicenter of the creative engineering culture. There are common beliefs that certain drugs (LSD, mushrooms, ketamine, MDMA, etc.) can help people transcend the daily grind and connect with the divine. Many users seek higher consciousness, and universal connection. So naturally the 1960s in San Francisco was the perfect breeding ground for these ideas to seep into the nerd crowd, who latched onto the question of whether these “trips” could heighten creativity and extend the capability of humans.

There were two dichotomies in the beginning: the one mentioned above (service to self vs. service to others), and the concept of artificial intelligence vs. the augmentation of human intelligence. This balance of tension is what helped shape the PC industry. Remember the two Steves? Jobs was an entrepreneur (I don’t know him personally but imagine based on public observations his goals were more centered around personal accomplishment), and Wozniak, whom I also have never known, but who had the reputation of wanting to make computers so he could basically have fun with his friends. That’s a form of service to others—not driven by money or pushing to the top of a big pyramid, but being driven by creativity and innovation for the sake of others. At first, the Steves seemed like a good balance. In many of the articles I’ve been reading, the big shift in values seemed to arrive on the scene with the “Pay Pal Mafia.” (I don’t know who coined that phrase, but I love it. It sounds so…Sopranos.) Many people have identified this timeframe as the tipping of balance, when greed became the defining value of the Valley.

I honestly don’t know where we are today, but the interest in micro (or macro) dosing has never really gone away. Several of the “guys at the top” talk openly about ketamine and other drugs. Are they helping them? There’s one individual I could point out where use seems to have been quite detrimental by several standards of objective measurement, but I don’t judge. This is simply a distant observation.

So if you’re thinking about dabbling in the trend of mind-altering drugs, we probably need to have a series of conversations. First, know your “why.” Some people believe one experiment can be the equivalent of “ten years of therapy.” Is this possible? Could be. Is it potentially detrimental? Big Yes. Even Carl Jung warned that these drugs could activate the primitive ego, causing regression instead of growth.

Here’s what I want you to think about, as a starting point. If you or your startup team are considering a group session, know yourself first. Are you oriented to serving others or yourself? There will be a mix in most groups, and it is highly possible that people who are of service to self might use an experience that draws people together “like family” to get their underlings to buy into those 80-100 hour work weeks to make someone else rich. This is one dark side of business-related enhanced enlightenment. So, know before you go, so you can better manage the outcome of the experience and how you want to apply it to your life.

I spoke with therapist Ellise Collier, who is certified by MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies). The major message I got from our conversation: this isn’t for everyone. Do you have a history of dissociation? Schizophrenia in the family tree? What medications (if any) are you currently taking? Her main emphasis is you need to do opening work first. Understand your own nervous system, so the experience can be directed to your specific needs. The idea of doing this is to connect with your higher self and experience transcendence; but it is possible for some to connect with their own egos instead (as Jung warned), thinking they are connected to the higher self, which can lead to a “bad trip,” or even a breakthrough experience that will eventually become overshadowed by a nervous system that was dysregulated to begin with. Work with someone who understands this, who can identify the difference between ego and the higher self, and guide you personally, before, during and after.

I encourage you to seek your Self. You have access to divine creativity inside of you, in your second chakra. You have access to everything you need in your etherial being. Whether you decide to do an enhanced journey is entirely up to you, but for the best outcome, I encourage you to put in some work ahead of time with someone trained to help you get in touch with what you’re trying to accomplish. Know specifically how you want to grow, while being open to various avenues of growth. I’ve met individuals who have had life changing experiences. I’ve also witnessed people fall into anger, addiction, negative personality changes, and increased rigidity of thinking, having lost the ability to collaborate and co-create. If you’re going to take time for a vacation, do everything you can ahead of time to make sure you have a good trip.

How to tell whether someone’s spirituality is beneficial or just plain weird.

A lot of us are searching: for community, depth, meaning in this chaotic modern world. But after watching basically every cult documentary ever made (the one with mandatory adoption of an astronomical number of cats is totally GOLD), I think its worth discussing some cultish things to look out for when seeking spiritual mentoring or spiritual groups and communities.

First: there’s a pedestal figure. I’m not talking about your basic minister or church leader (although we’ve learned many are dangerous). I’m talking about the situation wherein one person is “special” and is the only one who has the correct answers, is the only one with access to truth, and questioning of this person is forbidden. This is a red flag forest.

You feel like you’re in a car dealership. Everyone is very friendly, but something feels fishy, like you’re being sized up.

You feel someone is trying to erode your logic. Spiritual growth comes with a balance of logic, intuition and a host of individual spiritual gifts. You should never be asked to abandon yourself. You should be encouraged to bloom as your own unique being! I’ve said before that spiritual growth often takes us beyond logic, beyond scientific proof, but you don’t need to be “broken down.” Follow your gut instincts.

The leader or group is wary of the “outside” world. Aren’t we all? Its a total circus right now! But each of us has a purpose which probably entails spreading light (not to mention going to work), which you can’t do from an insulated bunker. Healthy spirituality doesn’t have a locked gate.

You are discouraged from reading. Curiosity (especially when fueled by intuition) is healthy. Do we believe everything we read? No. Do adult thinkers need a leader or group censoring them? Also no. A good mentor will simply ask: What do you think about it? And will be comfortable allowing you to have your own journey. There is a BIG difference between coercion and guidance.

The superiority complex. When you hear some version of “My/our beliefs are better,” tune in to your intuition. Spirituality isn’t a competition. Your soul isn’t a commodity to be obtained by a group. This is your soul journey. Your free will. Your joy.

The person or group makes you feel shame and guilt, and you aren’t actually a bank robber or murderer. Your spiritual journey may be hard (oh the joys of shadow work!), but guidance should always come from a place of love, light, oneness. When and whether you do shadow work is up to you, and it never has to be public. Some groups (even ones considered mainstream) require people to openly share shameful feelings or events. This can be harmful, and spiritual work ideally helps guilt and shame, rather than highlighting or creating it.

Questions are discouraged. This is a BIG red flag. Ask everything. Be curious. Explore ideas. Explore with creativity and enthusiasm.

If you’re here because you’re thinking of partnering with me on your spiritual journey, I can promise you a few things: I have total respect for each individual’s story and journey, I arrive with zero judgement, and I won’t make you adopt dozens of cats.